Another Snow Day

We had another snow day, which was nice because I got to sleep in and do nothing all day. Aside from going for a walk (in the pouring rain, might I add), I didn't do anything except read and make pizza. I rented a movie last night, since everyone basically assumed we were going to have the day off, so I'm watching that in 20 minutes. But it will probably be sooner because I don't have much to say.

I'm wishing I wrote down my dream from last night as soon as I woke up, because now I can barely remember any of it. I know that Jessie was in it, because she keeps frigging IMing me and I feel like a bitch by ignoring her, so we "talk," I guess. God. This isn't part of my dream, this is real. So last night she IMed me before I had to go to sleep, and she ended up being in my dream. I remember that I was at the Milford Mall with Marisa, and we were wandering around the toystore, which was so brightly colored I felt the need th squint my eyes just to keep from going blind. I was walking around with the laptop in one hand, and typing with the other. Jessie wouldn't stop talking to me, and I remember smacking my gum loudly and telling Marisa, "This bitch never shuts up." Jessie said something about how she misses coming over my house, and before I knew what was going on, she basically invited herself over my house. I told Marisa we had to go back home. I wanted to tell Jessie to get the fuck out, but in my subconscious I knew I wouldn't be able to do that, not matter how badly I wanted to. Sure enough, when she showed up at my house, I turned my cringe into a forced smile and welcomed her. She wouldn't leave, and two hours later I was lying on the couch, letting her jump around and talk endlessly while I nodded and said, "mmhmm" at necessary parts. At the same time, there was some party going on at my house. Not a real party, you know, not the kind where there's flashing lights and dirty dancing and a DJ. It was the get together kind of party, with people milling around drinking and making small talk. My dad poked his head in the room and shot a glare at Jessie before turning to me. That was the worst part of it, I think...the fact that parents thought I was stupid and had no backbone by allowing her into the house. In real life, actually, my mom never liked the idea of Jessie and I being close friends. It just took me a long time to realize she was absolutely right.

She was fucking annoying.

She was dependent and clingy.

But I had been friends with her for so long that I kept her around just because I didn't know how to let her go. Still, I had done it eventually, and now in my dream world, my parents were disappointed in me again. I felt so ashamed. I moaned about my sister having stupid hoes for friends and here I was, relapsing and hanging out with the one friend who had never been and never will be good for me.

My dad said something about Tyler being here, and I did one of those palm-to-forehead smacks. I had been so preoccupied with loathing myself that I forgot I had invited him. I never thought he would come, but apparently he did. I bolted out of the room only to find the house bare and empty. There was a car turning out of the driveway and up the street, and when the car passed underneath the streetlight, I saw the outline of Tyler's face in the driver's seat.