Someone Understands

Jealous

I have no problem admitting it. I am completely jealous of anyone seeing FOB tonight at Mohegan Sun. I'd probably go so far as to say I hate them all, for just a little while. I haven't seen FOB in almost two years...I miss them so much. It kills me that I saw someone's Facebook status that said they're going...and I wanted to...fucking scream. I hate how people who sort of like the band get to go, but I would sit outside all day for them and somehow I miss out on this. I hate that I can't drive.

I hate everything right now.

I MISS THEM. :(

Warm Weather is a Tease

For the past few days it's been in the 70's and 80's, and I am absolutely in love with the warm weather. Too bad it's going to drop to 60 degrees again tomorrow, the day after I finally drag my ass to the mall and buy some shorts for the first time in years. Oh, well...I guess that means I'll appreciate the warmth even more when it comes back.

Anyway...I haven't been writing here as much, and I don't know why. It bothers me because I finally convinced myself this was something I'd never give up on...unlike the pile of diaries from my childhood that lasted three days, a week at the most. This week has proved me wrong...or maybe I've been lying to myself the whole time. I do that a lot. The sad thing about it is that I always believe myself, for a little while. I've been doing that more than usual lately...lying to myself, I mean. 

Lying about a dwindling friendship that I tell myself is just fine, or that it's not my fault because I'm busy and don't spend a lot of time online...

Lying about a friendship that is progressing although I tell myself it's not just because I don't want it to...

Lying about caring for him, which I tell myself I don't...

How does my mother still think I'm an honest person when I can't even be honest with myself? 

And more importantly, since when did this entry turn into a depressed rant?

I'm forgetting I wrote this and taking a walk...enjoying the last of the sunshine.

Bye.

Ring Dance Rant

This is copied and pasted from the ranting thread...I don't feel like writing about this anymore.

Tonight was my high school's sophomore ring dance, and I was dragged into going by my friends. I wasn't upset, per say, that I didn't have a date, because a few of my friends didn't either. I just knew that it was going to be awkward during the slow songs, when everyone is in pairs...but I also knew I could cope with that.
So I'm sitting at a table with my friends and one says, "Oh god Laura, please don't turn around." Of course I turn around and the guy I've had strong feelings for since God fucking knows when is there with a girl from my grade. UM, HE'S A JUNIOR...I thought this was like the ONE school event where I didn't have to worry about him being there. I thought this was like a crazy nightmare and I was going to wake up... And of course the girl he's with is like this annoying as fuck girl who hasn't matured since FIFTH GRADE. I don't have like any self-confidence...but oh my GOD. JESUS. I know I'm better than her...I mean...that just made me feel like complete shit. Here he is (looking amazing....) going to the ring dance for the second time with a date, and here I am alone, on the verge of tears. It should have been a comfort that my friends were like, "If you need to cry I'll go in the bathroom with you"...but honestly it brought back the reality of the situation. Every time I forgot about him, he'd pop up again with that damn girl, holding her hand or dancing with her or something that made me want to fucking die of shame.

REALLY, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU, NOR ANYONE, GRINDING ANYWHERE NEAR ME. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE CAPABLE OF ALL THOSE...OBSCENE GESTURES.

Later, I found out that he had asked out another sophomore (who I thought liked him but now I guess she doesn't?). She said no, so he went to the dance with this girl to spite the other one. I don't care how much I don't like the two girls...that's fucking cold. That's wrong. That's just...I mean...any guy that does that is...I can't even think of a strong enough adjective.
So basically the whole night I was fighting the urge to confront him and smack him across the face...although there's still part of me that would give an arm and a leg to be in his date's position. I hate the fact that after years, he still affects me like this and I'm so powerless against his mere presence. It's pathetic.
I came home and my mother wanted to "talk about it," which wasn't a good idea because the more I talked the closer I got to breaking down. So before I said too much, I went upstairs, turned "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" on repeat, and cried.Now I don't even know how I'm feeling. There is way too much going on in my head and I'm way too tired to cope with any of it. This rant is too long and probably doesn't make a lot of sense. I don't expect anyone to read it either...I just needed to get it out of my system.

EDIT: Oh and I'm completely embarassed that I came home and broke down. I honestly thought I had my emotions in check and it's still humiliating for me even if no one else was there to witness it.Now it's 1:20 in the morning and I don't know why I'm still awake.

Too Tired to Think of a Decent Title...

I'm going to sleep soon.
But anyway.
I hate how I abandon people and lose connections without even meaning to...and I never realize until it's already said and done. This has been killing me lately, especially since one of my closest friends decided to not invite Em and I to her sweet sixteen party. I don't even like parties, but she means a lot to me as a friend, and to know that she invited people she's not even friends with over two people she spent all of last year with...it hurts. I'm not going to lie. I don't think she meant to hurt me or get me angry, but she did anyway. I would not mind going to the party and having a shitty time...just the fact that she cares enough to invite me would be alright. I barely see her anymore because our schedules are so different, but I talk to her whenever I can and...could I really have let this slip through my fingers?
I don't know if I should be upset with her or myself.

BusyBusyBusy

Wow.
I am very tired.
I thought yesterday and today were going to be relaxing days, since the only committments I had were plans with Bailey, guitar lessons, and the carnival on Saturday. Most of that changed when Kinnari called me as I was getting dressed and invited me to the mall. First she came over my house (and hour later than she said she would, but she went through the trouble of A: coercing [more like blackmailing] me to go to ring dance and B: finding the paperwork...so she deserves to be cut some slack. And she's Kinnari, meaning it's a given that she's going to be late.) and gave me the paperwork. I still haven't filled it out but oh, well, the dance isn't until next week anyway. I wish I could conveniently lose it or forget to hand it in, but knowing how upset she would be...I can't. My conscience won't let me, even though she has no reason to want me there. The guy she likes asked her, so I see no explanation for why she would want me there...
Anyway, Kinnari stayed at my house while my mom went out for a haircut appointment. She took us to the mall afterwards, where we went to five stores and didn't really find any dresses I would buy, although Kinnari thought it would be really funny for me to try on hideous dresses. We ran into Emily and Sophie and stayed at the mall longer than planned. Then we decided to go to the carnival last night instead of tonight, because there are no wristbands tonight. I felt horrible changing my plans with Bailey AGAIN, but she can still come over tonight. And we're making cookies as a peace offering.
So I went to the carnival last night. It was insanely crowded, meaning it took a half hour just to get on one ride. Tyler wasn't there either...I know it's pathetic that I still care enough to pick up on that, but whatever. I can't help it. Kinnari and I went on the carousel and bitched out three of my sister's friends for being rude and obnoxious. Not going to lie, I love picking fights with people I don't like. My Italian temper kicks in when people piss me off.
I have more to talk about but I don't feel like doing so right now...I have to leave kind of soon, and as soon as I get back home, Kinnari is picking me up. Her mom is taking us out to the Milford Mall. which is completely insane because they don't have to do that for me, but I'm not going to argue. After that Bailey is finally coming over.
The fact that I lost five hours of sleep doesn't help either. I had ONE green tea for the first time in a month and was up till 4 AM.
Not cool.

Unreliability Ticks Me Off

It really really bothers me when people make plans and then break or change them at the last second. I cannot put all of the blame on Kinnari and them, because it was my choice to go to the movies when I had a strange feeling I should hang around in case someone calls for plans. But I obviously did not listen to my gut instinct and went to the movies anyway. Now, I had plans to go to the carnival with a group of people on Friday, but apparently Friday was a conflict for some people. So Kinnari, Em, Soph, and Meg decided to change the plans from Friday night to tonight...but of course, they decide that this evening...and call my house ten minutes after I've left. I didn't get back home until 8:30 PM and flipped a shit when I heard the message from them on my machine, not knowing who I should be more angry at: myself or them. I changed for the second time in a few minutes and rushed to Trumbull High. I thought we were staying until 10:30, but Kinnari said the wrong time and we were actually staying until 9:30...which meant I barely had an hour there. I was in a grouchy mood, to be honest, and as soon as I was starting to loosen up, I saw Tyler. 

I wish I would stop reacting the same frigging way every time I see him. This is how it goes:

- First, an unusually tall person catches my eyes and I make sure it's him.

- When my brain processes this fact, my feet stomp (if I am sitting) or my legs start shaking (if I am standing).

- I smack anything and anyone near me out of bizarre reflex.

- My heart starts pounding and I feel like I'm going into cardiac arrest.

- I repeat whatever comes to mind over and over until I calm down. It's usually something along the lines of "ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod" or "he's here he's here he's right fucking here." It can be a combination of the two or something different. Tonight it was me saying "fuck" for a solid minute straight. 

- I am able to think rationally long enough to realize that he might have seen my little fit of emotion, so I hang my head (usually to hide the fact that my cheeks are red) and turn away. This lasts for however long it takes to convince myself he's not looking.

- Now I can control myself, although if he comes too close I pull my shoulders inward or cross my arms tightly, as if his close proximity will cause me to shatter and spill across the ground if I don't hold myself together. 

ANYWAY. Oh my god. I need to stop ranting about him like this.

Anyway...umm...the point of this was that...I barely spent time there...but I wasn't TOO angry because I still had plans for Friday with other people. But then I come home and apparently those plans have been changed to Saturday. Saturday happens to be when I made plans to hang out with Bailey. The problem has been solved because I just switched nights with Bailey...but it's the incompetence and unreliability of people that drives me crazy. 

Dear You

Letter #1:

Dear you,

I'm kind of sorry. I say kind of because I cannot say straight out that I am sorry. I don't know if I completely am because I know I can survive easily without you. I've been doing it ever since I cut ties with you and if you want me to be honest, nothing changed. I didn't cry over our lost friendship because it was my choice in the first place to burn that bridge. But I do feel kind of sorry for doing that. For you it must have been unexpected and it was certainly not the most graceful way to handle the problem. You have to understand that whatever issue put me over the edge wasn't the one reason I did what I did; it was more like the last straw. Maybe I tried to explain it to you but I don't think I did a good job. I want you to know that it wasn't all your fault. Most of it was actually my problem. From previous fights we had, I knew how to ignore you and pretend you didn't exist; and from the countless hours we spent together, I knew how to be your best friend. I didn't know how to find a middle ground between the two extremes, and there was no way I was going to take the risk of being a "casual friend" because we both knew where that leads. That was the cycle I referred to. Every time we started talking again, it escalated out of control. So we quit talking altogether. Except now we talk online a bit and it's not as awkward as that first time you IMed me about a spanish question. I enjoy talking to you now because there are no strings attached. I don't feel obligated to you but our shared past gives us easy topics to talk about. Plus, the years we were best friends, especially the ones where it was me, you, and Nicole, were probably the best years of my life. Looking back I hate who I was, but I'm jealous of how happy I was. Maybe I'm only talking to you now because it resurrects that carefree feeling I had in my middle school years...but maybe we've matured to the point where we can be "casual friends." That does not mean we would hang out every weekend and find some way to see each other between classes. I don't really know what it means but I think it wouldn't be a big deal if we met up at Starbucks once in a while to catch up. What's stopping me from attempting that partially has to do with my parents. They were never major fans of us being best friends. Don't get me wrong; they do not and never have hated you...but my mother described our friendship as tumultuous and her "tolerating" you being around so much. She says we didn't have a healthy relationship. I don't think we did either. We spent so much time together that sometimes we wanted to bite each other's heads off. Your mom didn't approve of me and apparently vice versa. Sometimes I felt like your emotional problems were too much for me to handle...and your trivial habits grated on my nerves. But we're inexplicably drawn to each other. There is always something that causes one of us to IM the other. As dysfunctional as we can be, we're not meant to hate each other...but I also cannot face the disappointment my parents would try to cover up if I ever mentioned meeting up with you again. 

I'l think about it. 

Sincerely, 

me.

Letter #2:

Dear you,

Just for the record, I don't want to hang out with you two over April break. That is about the last thing I want to do, but apparently my mother thinks it's okay to make plans for me. I know this is horribly blunt but lately I feel like that's the only way I can address you. I can see where you're coming from: you don't understand why all of a sudden I stopped inviting you over on Friday nights. The truth is, I have better things to do. It had gotten to the point where a half hour after you two showed up, I wanted you to leave because I felt like I was wasting my time. I imagined all the things my friends were out doing, and I hated that I subjected myself to the confines of your company and my house every Friday night. And you know, it does have a lot to do with that religious debate, if you can even call it a debate. I wouldn't because all you did was treat me like I needed your help and it was your job to save me from myself. I'm starting to become enraged just thinking about this. But the point is, I don't hate you for that, and I forgive you. But I can't forget. I can't. Every time we make eye contact the heaviness of that night presses down on my shoulders until I turn away. I don't have any problems with people who have different beliefs; it's when people treat me like a lesser being and try to force their beliefs on me that I lash out and become cold. As of right now I cannot be with either of you. It's a shame you're not going to Italy this summer. 

Sincerely, 

me.

Letter #3: 

Dear you, 

I've written you too many letters, two of which I think you read and the third being one that I never sent. It's still saved at the bottom of a random document on my old laptop where hopefully no one but me has ever laid eyes on it. The sad thing is that I write these letters to you and you will never read them, but maybe it is a good thing because I might die of embarrassment if you did. Anyway, I'm writing this now because previously, back when you talked to me, I found a million different ways to beat around the bush of what I could say in a few simple words. 

I love you.

That is all.

This time, I don't want a response. 

Sincerely, 

me. 

Easter Eggs!

I normally hate coloring easter eggs on account of my obnoxiously loud family, and this year was even worse because my aunt was sick with God knows what. So I spent a good deal of the afternoon avoiding everything she touched and keeping a solid ten foot radius the entire time. But on the bright side, I think my eggs came out pretty snazzy. I wanted to differentiate mine from my sister's so mine are all EIT themed. The first picture are the four asterisk ones and the next two are the others. The second picture is the front of the eggs and the third is the back. (Because the two blue eggs are sort of hard to read, the first one says, "Every inch you see is bruised" and the second says, "I wake up to find it's another four aspirin morning." Sorry about that.)

Finally - A Dream Worth Writing About

Don't think that I haven't been writing about my dreams because I don't feel like it - I haven't been writing about them because they've been nonexistant. For about a month or two I remembered most of my dreams and all of them were interesting; dreams I took to writing down because I didn't want to forget them. And then, out of nowhere, I stopped remembering. My mind was clear every morning. Even if the feeling and scent of a dream was still lingering when I awoke, it disappared before I could grap it, or I forgot in a second and let it slip away. After all, it was only a fragment, nothing I could really write in detail about. I finally had a bizarre dream, which is always the best kind, excluding the dreams I wish were my real life.
Last night my dream had a dark atmosphere where the spectrum of colors were mostly shades of blue and gray. It reminded me of the atmosphere of Twilight, which coincides with the dream itself. I was with this man whose face I never saw clearly. I say "man" instead of "boy" because he was definitely not my age. He must have been in his late teens or early twenties. Maybe even his mid-twenties...I can't really be sure because I never saw him clearly, but I know for sure he wasn't as young as me. His hair was black is the only detail I remember, and that the dream was sort of a choppy version of the first half of Twilight. I met him at my friend's party or something and talked to him because no one else was. He gave me a ride home and a few days later I ran into him somewhere else. (This is kind of killing me that it's so vague but I can't remember any details.) I started going out with this guy and everyone was telling me he was no good, there was something weird about him that made him a social outcast, but I didn't care. There wasn't much more than that...I wish I could remember everything but oh well.
Then my dream switched gears completely and I was standing on the side of the track at my high school with Emily. We were in gym class and everyone was running the mile except the two of us. We were hiding from the teacher so we wouldn't have to run, although by "hiding" I mean we stood like statues facing the bleachers and didn't move. It sounds ridiculous because obviously the teacher would have been able to see us...but I guess it was one of those situations where you're safe if you stay still, like with an animal or something. My dream switched gears again and I was still in gym class, but Emily was replaced by Ellary and we were at one of the softball fields in the back of my elementary school. The only difference was that is seemed enlarged and the outfield was filled with hills and holes. The ground was completely uneven and moved like there was a giant snake squirming underneath the grass. There was another boy there who I cannot remember and my gym teacher. She was wearing a purple shirt and gray pants which is very strange because she's never worn a purple shirt before. She told the unknown boy, Ellary, and I to run the mile on the field. The boy immediately shot ahead of us and Ellary and I started out at the same pace. After a minute or two she went ahead of me until she tripped and fell. It seemed like slow motion though, they way she fell, like it took way too long for it to happen. I noticed that the ground sank when she landed. I should have been worrying about if she was okay or not but instead I stupidly thought that I could catch up to her now. She got up right as I became even with her and together we jogged to the sloppy outfield. There was a huge hill that dipped to form a moat-like hole before it touched the infield. I didn't want to waste my time running all the way around because it would slow down my time, so I ran through the dip in the ground. However, when I set foot there, the rest of the ground vibrated in reaction. The moat grew larger until I fell down and the hill seemed more like a tidal wave about to overtake me. I started flailing my arms and calling for help. Not only was the hill about to wipe me clean out but the ground was sticky. There was no way I could get up on my own. I yelled and yelled for help until Emily Block (not the same person as the first Emily) came. She was wearing an orange North Face (which she doesn't have in real life) and eating one of those salads that Rebecca always makes fun of her for because it looks way too first class to be a school lunch. She held her salad in one hand and helped me out of the hole with the other. I took off running and got 9:57 on the mile. Three seconds less than I needed to pass.

I hope I have another dream tonight.

New York Is Ugly

Somehow that thought did not occur to me until the green grass and shiny cars gradually became crowded sidewalks and yellow taxis. The AP and honors biology classes went on a field trip earlier this week to the Bodies Museum in Manhattan. I knew it was in New York, but it must have failed to register, because I did not fully realize my whereabouts until the cleanliness (if monotony) of Connecticut was behind us. The latter half of the bus ride reminded me how much I hate New York. It has got to be the ugliest state in this country. The dull gray sidewalks are crowded with people pushing each other to move faster and the streets are littered with yellow taxis with movie advertisements on top. That's another thing I hate: there are advertisements all over the place. Plastered big and bold on billboards and the sides of buses or taped to store windows. The endless advertisements are so inescapable it's almost suffocating. New York itself is suffocating. It may be my imagination but it seems as if there is never any sun in New York...the sun is out but the sky is blocked by the buildings that seemingly stretch to wherever heaven is supposed to be. How are people supposed to watch the sun rise and set when these ugly man-made things are obstructing the view? How do you live like that? Since when were artificial lights beautiful? The only plausible answer is that people there simply don't like the sun. It seems reasonable. Everyone there reminds me of a rat; they skitter around in the darkness of the shadows and hop onto their buses or into their taxis before the sun has a chance to shine on them. The shade from the buildings keeps them secure in their dark corners. It really creeps me out. I don't want to live like a hermit. These thoughts plagued me as the coach bus drove deeper in the New York. I can't recall a single moment when one state turned into another. Maybe there was and my mind was off somewhere else, oblivious. Maybe I was too busy playing pointless games to pass the time or telling Brian how much I really hate the east coast.
I didn't know much about the trip to the Bodies Museum except that we got to see dead people and then have an hour and a half to roam around the South Street Seaport area. I hadn't even signed up to be in a group, but my friends put me in their group without me asking. We were in Mrs. Rick's group, which was good because she made the best cookies but bad because she's the epitome of a helicopter parent. I guess I can understand why she's like that; I don't know if her daughter, Ariana, has social problems or not...but I can only handle her in small doses. She hasn't matured much since elementary school and I don't cope well with people below my maturity level. I lose patience and have to detach myself. But I wasn't going to complain. The fact that my friends thought to put me in whatever group they were in made me happy enough. I wasn't sure who I was going to sit with but wasn't going to worry about it either. Over the past month I've developed a ton of faith in my friends. They seem to be there right when I need them, although they were probably there the whole time...I just haven't appreciated it until now. So I wasn't going to stress over something insignificant like who I'm going to sit with. Brian said he needed a "bus buddy," I agreed, and just like that it was settled. It was about a two hour bus ride, which I usually wouldn't mind, but towards the end I was growing tired of sitting in such a cramped area. It balanced out in the end, considering all the walking we did in the museum.
The exhibit was supposed to be mind-blowing, or at least that was what I heard from other people. My mom was jealous of me but I told her we could swap places anytime...the previous day she had taken her students on a field trip for an all-access tour of Madison Square Garden. As fascinating as dead bodies are, I'd like to MSG a bit more. The only things that intrigued me were that A) every body in the exhibit had been alive in the past ten years and B) because the Chinese government was running all of this, it's questionable whether the people died of natural causes...or were executed. Those bits creeped me out, but other than that, it wasn't anything mind-blowing. The bodies were skinless and even posed in different positions. It was interesting but nothing absolutely amazing. I think all the hype I heard from other people sort of killed the experience for me. Oh, well. To quote the lyrical genius Ben Gibbard, "No experience will ever match up to the idealized version in your mind."
The best part of the day was definitely the latter half. We were one of the first groups to go into the exhibit, meaning we were one of the first out. We had over an hour and a half to "eat lunch," which basically meant "do whatever you want as long as you don't get us teachers in trouble for doing it." Mrs. Rick wanted all of us to stick together but Kinnari, Raksha, and Bailey used their "we're vegetarians" speech as a reason for going off on our own. Mrs. Rick wasn't 100% convinced on the idea but we practically ran away before she could flat out say no. We walked up and down the streets for a few minutes before changing direction and finding a mini-mall sort of place. We got food and then walked around the different shops, which doesn't sound nearly as enjoyable as it was. All of us splurged on candy and ice cream and forgot for a little while that we would soon have to leave. It's amazing how the people you're with can completely change the way you experience something...normally, I would hate to spend a day in New York and have to walk through shops just to look. I would beg to leave...but this time I was begging not to leave. New York was almost beautiful for a moment when Brian and I almost got lost and found ourselves on a ledge overlooking everything. Almost, but not quite. The sun's light was still murky at best and the ugly buildings loomed across a gap of gray looking water...but it was alright, alright for a few seconds.

I HATE THIS SHOW.

I officially hate House because Cutner just died and I remember saying that he was the only character (of the three members of House's team) that I didn't want to die. And what happens?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS!
He DIES.
He COMMITS SUICIDE.
Actually I think he was murdered because no one picked up on any signs and it just seems to random.
Come on Taob, you tried once and failed, COULDN'T YOU TRY ONE MORE TIME AND LET CUTNER'S CHARACTER LIVE.

effmylife.

...

...I don't really have anything to say. But I feel like I've been neglecting my blog and I should write something...except I don't know what to write. I guess I'll ramble uselessly about my weekend.
Friday was really good. It was an all around awesome day, even though it was pouring. But that's partially why it was so awesome. I was feeling kind of worn out from the week and although I had two quizzes that day, they were both in my easier classes. So I wasn't stressing about anything. I was feeling calm as opposed to bubbly and excited, so a rainy Friday was perfect, if you exclude the fact that I decided to be dumb and wear flip flops. I made it through the school day easily. By the time school was letting out, all the cars had their lights on. It was that dark. I came home and relaxed on the couch, watching The Visitor and the end of The Ruins. I showered because I felt dirty after lying on the couch for that long, and then went to Kinnari's. Sophie and Em were already there, which was surprising. Kinnari had said anywhere between 6:30 and 7 PM, but my friends are always late. Showing up at 6:45 felt early, but my parents wanted to go out and were nudging me out the door. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised about them being there early, and also a little surprised that Andrew came. He seems like an alright guy but he's very introverted and is smart because he never immerses himself in the petty everyone else revolves their lives around. I don't know if I would abandon my social life to be completely free of drama (you've got to admit, if you're not a part of it, it's interesting to hear about), but hey, to each his own. It's not really any of my business anyway, how he chooses to live. Kinnari's liked him for a long time...so I was happy to see that he was willing to go over her house. I mean that in the least creepy way possible.
After everyone arrived, it was me, Kinnari, Em, Sophie, Megan, Ellary, and Brian. We got into a fierce game of BS, which I had never played before. I've never played any card games before except Go Fish, which I was never very good at...but I won. Everyone accused me of lying when I said I sucked at card games, but it's the truth. Sometimes people don't pay attention to me during games, and that's how I win. After that we went downstairs to get drinks and then went back upstairs. We watched DVDs that Em and Sophie brought but I wasn't really paying attention to them. Brian and I were "texting Raksha," which meant we were actually writing drafts and showing them to Kinnari so she could "read what Raksha said." We were basically just convincing her to move closer to Andrew. That didn't happen, but I think we're making plans to go to the movies next Friday...so maybe Kinnari won't be such a fool next time.
I don't feel like typing anymore. The rest of my weekend isn't worth writing about anyway.
Oh, by the way, I had a dream I went on vacation to the Galapagos Islands. It made me hate Connecticut even more when I woke up.

Not a Joke

There needs to be more bands like these. Or I need to buy more of their music. Because right now, I can't get enough of them and I don't want to listen to anything else.

And to think I couldn't Death Cab when I was 12...